PastPosts #1: Please Don't FWD Me

I began blogging elewhere in the cyber heavens and thought it might be fun to post some of these earlier ramblings. I sound upset here but I'm really not. I was going to end every post with "is it just me?"

And to my friends and fam that still send this type of e-mail--why keep 'em coming.

Posted sometime in 2006...

Please Don't FWD Me

I despise forwards sent to my hotmail. There are two kinds that I normally receive. The first is a new form of the old chain letter. You know the kind where someone sends you a sad story, or perhaps even inspirational, about somebody's cat or child. The letter instructs you that you have 24 hours to send it on to 20 other people or else you will meet with a sudden demise, or at best a horrible disfiguring accident. Sometimes the consequences are more vague while you are informed you'll encounter several years of misfortune. Why would a friend send me such a grim fate? Do I need this type of friend who is automatically guaranteeing my immediate demise if I don't comply, especially knowing I don't have enough friends to comply. The second forward I loathe is the "funny" forward, which are never as funny as the sender imagines. Typically it's either some stale joke or a cartoon of dancing hamsters.

People who send forwards don't send just one. They send more than ten at a time, enough to fill a FedEx delivery van if all of them were printed on paper. On top of that, they do it every single day. Even a speed reader would need a month to read through all the chain letters and jokes crammed in my inbox. No one would waste the money to send this junk if it cost them the price of a stamp.

So please think twice before you send me a forward. If it is funny, make sure it rivals the Marx brothers in their finest hour. And please don't forward something that will shorten my life expectancy or impair my sterility.

Is it just me?

BTAP Print Anthology Update: Submissions Closed

Submissions for the BEAT to a PULP print anthology are now closed.

Anonymous-9, Charles Ardai, Sophie Littlefield, Bill Crider, Matthew Quinn Martin, Jake Hinkson, Nik Morton, Robert J. Randisi, Kieran Shea, Chap O’Keefe, Stephen D. Rogers, Patricia Abbott, Frank Bill, James Reasoner, Mike Sheeter, Garnett Elliot, Nolan Knight, Paul S. Powers, Chris F. Holm, Hilary Davidson, Ian Parnham, Scott D. Parker, Jedidiah Ayers, Cullen Gallagher, Andy Henion and Glenn Gray are now part of what is shaping up to be one of the top collections ever put together.

If you haven’t heard from us yet and you submitted a story, we will be reviewing it shortly. Many thanks for your hard work and interest.

Moving forward!

More news will be forthcoming including a special post regarding the very fine artist we have doing the cover art.

BTAP #59: Angel Of Mercy By David Price

There's got to be a better way. I was never big on church or religion. I'm not looking for any reward for a life well lived. Doubt I'd even qualify. I'm content to just lie down and take the long sleep. Sure ain't looking for the white light at the end of the tunnel. I just want to go out standing on my own two feet, not hooked to a bunch of tubes and monitors.Ever wonder what it might be like to rid the world of one worthless piece of trash? In David Price's "Angel of Mercy," a man decides to do just that.

Next week: Nik Morton's "HBT"

Soon: "Sisters Obscene" from Frederick Zackel

Also, please note that our deadline for the print anthology is coming to a close this Sunday at midnight.

Five Beatles Songs I'm Not Sick Of

In 1986, with the re-release of "Twist and Shout" from Ferris Bueller's Day Off and a year later with George Harrison's Cloud Nine album, I became a die-hard Beatles fan for the next decade. But, as my mother's Uncle Charlie use to say, "Too much of anything, good for nothing." I've grown deathly tired of the more popular songs but here are several tracks I still enjoy.

"I'm So Tired," The White Album. Favorite line: And curse Sir Walter Raleigh / He was such a stupid get.

"Two Of Us," Let It Be (a fan vid). Best line: You and I have memories / Longer than the road that stretches out ahead.

"She Came In Through The Bathroom Window," Abbey Road. Joe Cocker's version is probably more famous but this version has plenty of bite.

"Glass Onion," White Album. The Walrus was Paul!

"Real Love," Anthology Vol. 2. You can get back to where you once belonged. Terrific song and video from 1996.

What's your favorite Fab Four song? And speaking of Cloud Nine, here's another terrific tune from that album.

Jay Thomas' "Lone Ranger" Story

Thanks to James for mentioning this very funny story told by Jay Thomas.

When One Thing Leads To Another

I was about to watch another episode of Bat Masterson on Hulu when The Lone Ranger caught my eye instead. I've never watched the old show and decided I was long overdue. "Enter The Lone Ranger." It reminded me that the first time my generation saw Clayton Moore and Jay Silverheels was in this 1970’s commercial for Aqua Velva -- I still crack up when he jumps on his horse. There’s also this ad with Silverheels on his own for Chevy Blazer. I was always a Johnny Carson fan, so I had to look up this clip when Jay Silverheels appeared on the show.

Sadly, when plans for the (horrendous) 80s film version of the Lone Ranger were in the works, the owner of the character obtained a court order preventing Clayton Moore from wearing the costume and famous black mask. Here's Moore wearing sunglasses while receiving a star on Hollywood's Walk Of Fame.

BTAP #58: Waking Up From The Big Sleep By Paul Newman

She was tall, wrapping her assets against the rain in a tan overcoat. The coat hung strategically snug in just the right places against shapely curves. Wet strands of obsidian hair peeked out from under a scarf. Her face was pale and expensive like a china doll, with cheekbones high and sharp enough to shave with. Rain ran off her steaming coat in rivulets, puddling on the bare floorboards. A cloud of perfume surrounded her, demanding too much attention.

Read more of Mr. Newman's Waking Up From The Big Sleep.

Next week: David Price has an "Angel of Mercy."

Coming soon: The return of Anonymous-9 with "The Master Bedroom."