Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Two Sentence Tuesday

My first Black Horse Western arrived last week from the UK. Two gritty lines from Trail to Sonora by Tom Hughes:

The example of their dead companion, poisoning the water-hole as effectively with his blood as they had with chemicals back at Crimson Palisades, held them in check. 'What do you aim to do?' quaked Swingler. 'An' how in blazes did you get here?'
And my two lines:

She liked watching his muscles straining under a white cotton shirt, sun-baked skin glistening in the rays of light while he trimmed the hedge row, clipping off the new shoots with precision.

The muggy morning had given way to a sweltering afternoon, and as he mopped the beads of sweat from his brow with the crook of an arm, she decided today was it.
Just to clarify, I'm not writing for Penthouse Forum. Hopefully it will be whipped into the finest noir piece the world has ever beheld.

The ladies at WOM have more Tuesday thrills.

20 comments:

Barbara Martin said...

David, these are great two sets of sentences, though I never considered your own two were suggestive. Just getting warmed up. Women like looking at eye candy, too, without going further.

My two read sentences lead more than yours.

ARCHAVIST said...

Glad to see you enjoying the BHW's - oh and enticing lines.

Scott Parker said...

Unlike Barbara, I did get a certain connotation. That's the beauty of words.

Loved the BHW lines. I'm a gonna have'ta git me one o'them.

David Cranmer said...

Barbara, And I can see where your two are a very interesting contrast (if that's the word I'm looking for) to mine.

Archavist, I'm reading this and Chap's THE SHERIFF AND THE WIDOW. Very educational double bill.

Scott, Gary has a full Chap O'Keefe novel on The Tainted Archive which I recommend. So far (as I ramble here) I'm enjoying TRAIL TO SONORA but I'm curious to the history since it was written in 1957. Is this a case of reprinting an old book ala Hard Case? Does Hughes still write?

Crystal Phares said...

I can see a hint of what could happen between these two in your sentences, but I can also see where it might just be a lead in to something totally different. Like Scott said, that is the beauty of words.

David Cranmer said...

Crystal, I have a regular Rashomon effect going on!

I'm zipping over to your blog in a few...

pattinase (abbott) said...

It would be the day for me too.

Clare2e said...

I agree. The eye candy factor may be sufficient for the viewer or not. Not to be all XX-chromosomed about it, but it's assumed that a pair of mobbed-up goons scoping girls is a hobby, not necessarily a prelude. For plenty of women, the same. Her ogling could turn out to be harmless, clean fun. I kind of hope not, though.

Lois Karlin said...

Good clean fun? Not a chance. (Noir???)

Charles Gramlich said...

Hum, maybe a new Cool Hand Luke story. Or a Body Heat noir screenplay.

Reb said...

Love your clarification - lol! Those are great lines, yours and the BHW's.

David Cranmer said...

Patti, I take that my writing came across realistic.

Clare, I believe the story (hoping rather) it will be accepted shortly and I’ll let you know where it will be published. And the end will not disappoint.

Lois, Ha! You would be right that it doesn’t turn out well. It can’t or there wouldn’t be a story. Need that conflict.

Charles, BODY HEAT was a damn good movie and they really haven’t duplicated it’s quality or success since.

Thanks Reb!

Linda McLaughlin said...

Yep, we girls like eye candy, too. Your lines kinda reminded me of Gabby and the gardener on Desperate Housewives, only, I suspect, with a darker ending.

David Cranmer said...

Linda, Good catch! I sent this yarn to an editor with the explanation it's Desperate Housewives on steroids. Extreme dark ending.

Cloudia said...

Tittilating, that second sentence of yours, David!
Aloha-

Barrie said...

The finest noir piece the world has ever beheld? David, we expect no less from you. ;)

ARCHAVIST said...

David - The BHW imprint does often reprint old classics. I've got a Max Brand originally published in 1937 in a BHW edition. I'm not sure of the ratio between new originals and classic reprints but I think it must be at least 80% original works. Someone like Ray or Chap will know.

David Cranmer said...

Archavist, Ok that explains it and I'm glad they preserve the older westerns like that. I'm a firm believer if we don't remember who came before us than who the heck is going to give a darn about our work. Also, there are phrases and words used in these earlier novels that are very educational.

Chap O'Keefe said...

David, Without spending as much time as I should to check it all out, I suspect your "Tom Hughes" BHW might be a reprint of a Badger Books paperback by A(nthony). A. Glynn. It might have been one of a fairly large batch of stories offered to Hale around 2000 by a UK literary agent, Philip Harbottle.

Badger Books were cheaply produced line and the quality in all genres ranges widely -- from excruciatingly, unintentionally funny to quite good. Some the westerns are marred by the British writers' use of anachronistic, American gangster-type slang of the '40s and '50s. Remember, these books were churned out by British pulp-fiction hacks for very low rates of payment. They had no time for research and few resources to do it. Their main concern was to produce the right number of words as quickly as possible.

A. A. Glynn would have been one of the better Badger contributors. I believe he also wrote westerns for the Hale subsidiary imprint John Gresham Ltd in the '60s. He has also had other BHWs published under the name "Ken Brompton".

My first acquaintance with his work was a Sexton Blake detective story, which appeared, rewritten, under the house byline "Desmond Reid" with a title I gave it -- The Corpse Came Too. This was when I was a copy editor working for Fleetway Publications, London -- my very first job -- in 1961. A copy of this yarn is well worth hunting down. It also has the bonus of an attractive, pulpy cover by Henry Fox which you can see online at http://www.sextonblake.co.uk/sbl4_486.html

David Cranmer said...

Chap, So far TRAIL TO SONORA is quite good and if A.A. Glynn wrote it then he did a first-rate job with the setting and language. That is a sharp-looking pulp cover. I found a copy of THE CORPSE CAME TOO on Amazon and placed it in my cart for my next big order. Thanks for the history on Badger Books and I’ll bet you have some interesting stories as a copy editor for Fleetway.