Tuesday, February 2, 2010

PastPosts #1: Please Don't FWD Me

I began blogging elewhere in the cyber heavens and thought it might be fun to post some of these earlier ramblings. I sound upset here but I'm really not. I was going to end every post with "is it just me?"

And to my friends and fam that still send this type of e-mail--why keep 'em coming.

Posted sometime in 2006...

Please Don't FWD Me

I despise forwards sent to my hotmail. There are two kinds that I normally receive. The first is a new form of the old chain letter. You know the kind where someone sends you a sad story, or perhaps even inspirational, about somebody's cat or child. The letter instructs you that you have 24 hours to send it on to 20 other people or else you will meet with a sudden demise, or at best a horrible disfiguring accident. Sometimes the consequences are more vague while you are informed you'll encounter several years of misfortune. Why would a friend send me such a grim fate? Do I need this type of friend who is automatically guaranteeing my immediate demise if I don't comply, especially knowing I don't have enough friends to comply. The second forward I loathe is the "funny" forward, which are never as funny as the sender imagines. Typically it's either some stale joke or a cartoon of dancing hamsters.

People who send forwards don't send just one. They send more than ten at a time, enough to fill a FedEx delivery van if all of them were printed on paper. On top of that, they do it every single day. Even a speed reader would need a month to read through all the chain letters and jokes crammed in my inbox. No one would waste the money to send this junk if it cost them the price of a stamp.

So please think twice before you send me a forward. If it is funny, make sure it rivals the Marx brothers in their finest hour. And please don't forward something that will shorten my life expectancy or impair my sterility.

Is it just me?


G said...


In all seriousness though, you really have to be careful about this type of request. I lost a good friend because I made a request like this.

But....this has the makings of a very good rant.

Man, you should see what kind of spam my gmail stops from getting into my in box.

David Cranmer said...

I'm expecting my inbox to be flooded with PLENTY of good humorous e-mails about now.

Sharm said...

hey there
i represent the world united bloggers
and i found in your blog the joy of love and the hope of peace
we are more than 270 bloggers represent more than 80 countries
blogging for peace and love
and i really want you to join us ..
send us a mail with your name , country , blog url to
sharm@sharmlifeblog.com with title ( join WUB )
so that we can add you and send the invitation to you

The chief of WUB

If you are a member of WUB please ignore this comment

David Cranmer said...

I'm a card carrying member.

Charles Gramlich said...

Amen brother!

sertech said...

I loathe FWDs of any kind.

Anonymous said...

All my friends know what tickles my funny bone so I don't mind them but I see where forwards could be irritating, if you don't appreciate that sort of thing.


Reb said...

I've managed to get a few people to stop fwding that kind of crap, but some ppl never get the message. I delete the dire warning ones, maybe that is why my luck is so bad? ;)

Cloudia said...

You said a mouthful!!!

Aloha, Friend

Comfort Spiral

David Cranmer said...

Charles, Glad we are simpatico.

sertech, Loathe may be a little strong for me these days.

Diane, I have a nephew, sister, and sister-in-law that send some good ones. (and yes, I realize they will be reading this:)

Reb, Knock on wood twice and circle your computer three times and all will be well.

Cloudia, I was a lot mouthier four years ago.

Alyssa Goodnight said...

Well said! (I laughed out loud.) I whole-heartedly agree. My favorite part was 'knowing I don't have enough friends to comply'. Me either. :)

David Cranmer said...

Alyssa, Yeah, when you have to find twenty unsuspecting close friends daily it can be a tough chore.

Sarah Laurence said...

Funny! I agree, chain mail in any form is the worst, although it did provide some good amusement here.

David Cranmer said...

Sarah, I'm glad you found it amusing because I have a few other similar speckled thoughts I will re-run.

The romantic query letter and the happy-ever-after said...

I had a friend who use to do that very thing, we aren't friends anymore.
Warm regards,

David Cranmer said...

Simone, Thanks for stopping by. I zipped over and checked out your entertaing blog and story and I hope others do as well.

Dave King said...

You'll maybe pleased to know that I have never sent a fwd in my life! Or maybe I ought - just for the hell of it?

David Cranmer said...

Dave, Please make me the first recipient. It would only seem fitting.

LJ in the Balkans... said...

If not for e-mail, I would have never realized how much I needed Canadian prescription drugs or to increase the size of certain parts of my anatomy. I also learned that I was selected by an African Prince who was going to transfer funds to me if I gave him my routing and account numbers. However, my favorite e-mails come with subjects like “Best Scene from Spinal Tap” or “Great Slow Cooker Recipe.” Of course, I open those and it always happens to be some risqué photo completely inappropriate for the workplace…and, it only happens when my boss is in my office.

I just delete anything that says FWD. Have you ever had anyone follow-up on one of these? I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone call me later and ask if I got their silly forwarded joke. If they did, wow…they might need some Canadian pills…

Junosmom said...

Oh, you're in for it now. People will FWD you just to get your goat. LOL. I have about worn out my delete button.

David Cranmer said...

L.J., Canadian pills. You still crack me up and thanks for the needed chuckle.

Junosmom,Yes,it began.